“Trust Me” Lieutenant Phillips said, “Fighting for your country is the best feelin’ in the world, look, all your friends are signing up”. “Those aren’t my friends,” I told the lieutenant “just my classmates”. It was the first round of career day at my school, and since the Vietnam War was in full throttle, the army was trying to recruit a bunch of kids that just didn’t know any better. Lt. Phillips was visiting us from “Camp Holloway”, a place that sounds nice, but is quite the opposite. Camp Holloway was a U.S army Helicopter base in the central highlands of Vietnam. It made me chuckle when I thought about how all the kids Phillips was signing up weren’t smart enough to drive cars, much less fly helicopters. I watched on as he continued to recruit people who fell for the same line I got, “Fighting for your country is the best feelin’ in the world”.
I went back home and dwelled on thoughts of being a soldier, rappelling down from a helicopter and taking out a bunch of bad guys, being in the middle of a dog fight with badass planes, or receiving a medal for some awesome act of valor. It’s not that I didn’t think the army was cool, it’s just that I knew it wasn’t as romantic as I imagined. I convinced myself that “Being 6ft and skinny isn’t exactly cookie cutter army material anyways”. But I was just hiding from the real fact that I was scared, not only scared of all the danger, but scared of living up to expectations. My dad was in the army back during the Korean War, he was in the same position I was, just a young kid with thoughts of being a hero. The only thing was that my dad actually was a hero, he earned a purple heart that sits on the kitchen counter and mocks me everyday, reminding me that im not brave or courageous.
The Purple Heart is awarded to someone that is wounded or killed in battle, luckily for me my dad is still alive. He was shot in the shoulder during the Korean War at the Battle of Heartbreak Ridge. This is what I’m told happened. One of his fellow soldiers and best friend, “Connors”, is out in the open wounded with a shot to the leg. My dad sees that the enemy is advancing on the other side of the hill so he runs out into the open to pick up Connors and take him to cover. Just before my dad gets there, Connors is killed by the men shooting from the other side of the hill. With their sights now set on my dad, he takes action. He bolts over to Connors body and grabs his dog tags, the adrenaline pumping through his veins, his heart beating a million miles per hour, he charges back into cover and lays down on his back. In what felt like only seconds, he awoke in a hospital. There was a bloodstained patch on his right shoulder, he realized he had been shot in his attempt to save Connors. He looks over and see’s Connors dog tags on the night stand as the harsh reality crashes down on him. He discovers that his best friend is dead, he has been shot, and none of this is a dream.
The Purple Heart reminds me of my flaws everyday, but I still like it because it gives me an overwhelming amount of respect for my father. I held the case in my hands and stared at the heart, thinking about all the kids that were brave enough to sign up for the army at school today, and how many would be brave enough to sign up tomorrow. As I continued to watch the heart, my dad came over, put it face down on the counter, looked at me and said, “I never liked that thing”. “Why” I asked him. “Because it reminds me of what I’m not”, “What’s that?” I said. “A Hero” he replied.
The next day I went into school and looked around at all the career options. Everything I looked at seemed boring, not enough action. Then as I walked around I heard a familiar voice, “Fighting for your country is the best feelin’ in the world”. I turned around and watched from a distance as Lieutenant Phillips attempted to convince the valedictorian to sign up for the army. Here I was thinking everyone who fell for Lt. Phillips little speech was stupid, and then the smartest kid in class signs up to be in the Army. I marched over to the table and grabbed a pen. “Fighting for your…” the Lieutenant began to say before I cut him off. “Save it”, I said, as I scribbled my name and handed him the sign up sheet.
